I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning (To comprehend this article I need you to make two assumptions: One, I wrote it 30 minutes before the actual time you’re reading it; and, two, I had a hangover prior to that) and that’s when I decided to write on the talking point in the faculty of pharmacy, university of Ibadan right now: The Red carpet scandal. OK, I wasn’t sure if it was politically correct to write on this until a student of Human Nutrition, a department several miles away from faculty of pharmacy, relayed the whole gist to me hook, line and sinker with accurate facts, figures and references. Initially I had taken the whole affair as old wives’ tale, one of those things people say to be centre of attention like a “Do you know who I am?” boast but when I decided to do my investigation which took me to Yaba tech, Koko dome and, finally, a bar just adjacent Achievers’ hostel, I realized it was a serious issue and one which must be treated with sober – I take that again – treated with sober consideration.
Last year, PANS UI was short of money, literarily scrambling to get the traditional PANS week a-rolling. Old things are passed away, says the Bible. This year the story changed and – my word! – you only need to see the pictures of the dinner and excursion to appreciate this fact. Well so we thought until the ceiling caved in… I’ll get back to the story later but let’s talk about PANS congress in the interim. Anytime I attend congress sessions and I hear phrases like “constitutional matter”, “point of order” or sometimes “point of information”, I get quickly irritated and take my leave. Now that’s me. Some people are more willing and patient to listen to the ramblings of dudes who just learnt new words off a learners’ dictionary. But last congress (held on the 24th of August, 2010AD) was a time when somebody really should have raised up his hand and said “Point of common sense! This was called an ‘emergency’ congress but here we are inducting a committee!” To be fair to Mr. Speaker, ‘emergency’ can mean many things. I recently got an SMS from my roommate that said “Please call me. It’s an emergency” Pressed by the urgent tone of the message I sacrificed my last call credit only for him to say he wanted me to buy him Kuti burger! Could my point be any clearer? When I got the information that an emergency congress was to be held I was immediately excited that the most pressing issue on the minds of Pansites, namely, the Red carpet scandal, was going to be top on the menu list but, lo and behold, we ended up beating (or eating) about the bush ( or bush-meat). Is it just me or does no one else notice this howler! Ah, it just dawned on me: If the scandal had been raised, somebody’s toes would have been stepped upon and, Lord knows if she didn’t just buy those fancy shoes.
Back to my story. PANS week ended in grand style and it couldn’t have been any grander: A dinner with red carpet and BCOS coverage (My bad! These never materialized but we’ll chalk it down to ‘one of those things’) and an award night were select people got awards for which no one actually voted. In Mushin where I spend my summer holidays (and I’m not having you on), they have a word for it: Kalo-kalo; but since this is pharmacy school we’ll try to be diplomatic and simply call it ‘sham’. Anyway, PANS dinner has been taunted as the best ever considering that it held at Trenchard Hall [never mind that at some point the porter switched off the lights and yelled “Enough is enough!” even after relishing our Dansa and plate(s) of rice] and there was a dress code of gold, purple and white, the same colours adorned by knights of the Order of the Golden Fleece, save for want of red. Many things which we are not too proud of transpired and we all know this but that should not detract from the glamour of “diamonds”, or should it?
What am I rambling at, therefore? Pansites need to know the details of the PANS week otherwise they’ll be misinformed by hearsay carriers like the fellow in Human Nutrition who told me participants at the dinner got take-away bottles of wine which they happily distributed at their respective hostels. (Considering that six of us shared a single bottle of wine at the dinner night I hope this is hearsay!) The congress was the only medium where such an issue could have been raised but all we ended up with was flowing speeches from many who have been good students of Patrick Obahiagbon’s grammar session at the House of Representatives. I strongly believe that congress, being the most viable avenue (excluding facebook and amebo) where students can address pressing issues, should be transparent in its dealings, otherwise we lose our voice and how different is that from a military government save that we don’t carry guns? How would Pansites check the excesses of the executives and committee ‘methren’ (this word being the feminine version of ‘brethren’)? My eyes begin to clear and as I become more somber and sober I know for a fact that where congress fails, the press will prevail and that’s what I am doing with my humble logomachy! Long live PANS and God bless Mr. Heineken for his gift to man-kind! To the little things…
Funso David speaks 